War on Terror

November 30, 2016

Pretend I’m Not Here

Pretend I’m Not Here Previously published in Yes! Weekly on November 30, 2016 *** Sarah didn’t say she would be bringing a friend. They sat down across from me at The Green Bean coffee shop on Elm Street, Sarah in a champagne satin hijab, her friend in maroon cotton. “Pretend I’m not here,” said her friend, paintings of jellyfish-kitten hybrids on the wall, duct tape around the thick duct stretching across the stamped-tin ceiling, Sarah’s cell-phone adorned with gold glitter-studded mouse ears and a silver neck-lanyard because she’s always losing everything. “It’s just cuts,” she said, referring to her memories […]
May 2, 2016

The Chuck Norris Archive

“Facts” from Iraq:  The Chuck Norris Archive FACT:  We don’t have a military.  We have Chuck Norris. FACT:  In 2003 Chuck Norris went on holiday to Iraq.  Later the United States invaded the country, blaming Iraq for having a weapon of mass destruction. FACT:  When George Bush said “Mission Accomplished,” he didn’t realize Chuck Norris wasn’t finished yet.   FACT:  Behind every successful man, there is a successful woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris. FACT:  Sadddam Hussein was not found hiding in a “hole.”  Saddam was roundhouse kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which […]
April 13, 2015

The Rule of the Fool

Why did “the terrorists” assassinate “the cartoonists” in Paris? Why do most Americans get their news from entertainments sources like Fox News and Comedy Central? How seriously should we take satire? We are the country of the “Piss Christ.” Imagine the uproar if, in the near future, a young Iraqi (or American) were to laminate a portrait of Muhammad with urine. In a globalized free-market economy, our most dangerous export may well be our sense of humor. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the “Mastermind” of 9/11, the most prolific murderer of our time, received his entire exposure to America in North Carolina. […]